An Angel at my bed

For there stood by me this night an angel Angel of the God to whom I belong and whom I serve. Acts 27:23 NKJV.

This Brief Word is a brief testimony. It is my story of what happened when I was in hospital just recently.

(Thank you for praying for me and my family. I’m doing ok, trying to slow down and discern the God ideas from the good ideas. Thank you also for your understanding as this Brief Word is slightly longer than usual).

I had some chest pains, and as we already had a Doctor’s appointment scheduled, we went to see him. The staff did some tests, the Doctor took one look at me, and off I went in an ambulance to the hospital. They were ready for me there and did all the usual — blood tests, chest x-ray, heart scan and lots of ECG’s.

The cardiologist saw me the next day and decided the only thing to do was an angiogram, and, if they found the need they would put in stents.

That night I didn’t get to sleep until after 2.00am. It was a noisy ward and there was a lot going on. It is where patients are assessed and treated before being sent home or admitted into hospital and sent to a ward.

I woke at about 5.45am, and was meditating about the Lord, His word and the things of God as I usually am at this time. There were no other lights on so I didn’t turn mine on so as not to disturb any sleeping patients. So I was lying there on my hospital bed.

Immediately I became aware of a presence, and I knew it was the Lord, I just knew it was Jesus. His presence is unmistakeable. He stood at the foot of my bed. He was huge. He had long hair, a beard, dressed in white and had a sort of middle eastern type look. A mystical but glorious figure. It was like He shielded Himself and held back some of the glorious light of His presence for an unknown reason. But He was glorious.

Everything was filled with His presence and everything that wasn’t Godly just vanished away. His love filled the room. I mean His love! His indescribable love! It was love like we have not and cannot know or fully understand. It was total, powerful, inconceivable and indescribable in human terms.

It’s like things were emanating from Him, coming out from Him, and I was bombarded with aspects of who He is; love, grace, identity, peace, purpose, presence, majesty, mighty-ness, righteousness, holiness, healing. All these things and more were coming out from Him and going in all directions and I was just getting a fraction of these aspects of who He is.

He never spoke a word, yet volumes could not contain or explain all that was emanating from Him.

I saw streaks of darkness shooting away as they could not endure His presence. Fear, anxiety, worry, turmoil, even some demonic stuff that was there, they all just vanished.

But it wasn’t what He looked like that had the greatest impact upon me. It was all the things about Him that just hit me like boom, boom, boom! Love, grace, identity, peace, purpose, presence, majesty, mighty-ness, righteousness, holiness, healing — all these things were so pure, so true, so right, so full and real, they were almost other-dimensional, out of this world.

It was an unforgettable moment. I knew I’d been in the presence of my Lord and Saviour. I knew He’d been with me and I knew He was with me. For some unknown reason He’d chosen to manifest His presence to me.

How do you describe Him? He who flung the stars into place and created the worlds with one word. I’ve read in the word what He’s like; pure, holy, unapproachable light, the brightness of His glory indescribable, all these things emanating from Him. How can the limited adequately describe the unlimited? How can the temporary describe the eternal? How can the weak describe the strong? How can the human adequately describe the Divine? How can words describe the indescribable?

But here He was, at the end of my hospital bed. Just His presence exuded Lordship, grace, love, peace, calm, destiny, eternity.

At the time I was pretty stunned really. As I often am in moments when I’m in His presence, I was overcome. As I thought about it, I could not stop the tears flowing.

It was an incredible moment.

Later I relayed what I’d seen to family and friends and I spoke to them through many tears about what had happened that morning.

I’ve had four maybe more angiograms, and I am usually pretty anxious and stressed. My family know my history about needles and medical procedures. I have a thing call vasco vagal, which is a shock reaction to a traumatic event. I have in times past just at the sight of a needle coming towards me, passed out. Usually I have a serious dose of a sedative, to calm me and get me through. But this time, from the moment I saw Jesus at my bed, I had an amazing peace. I asked the staff if they’d given me a sedative, but they declined and said you’ll probably get some when you get there.

But the whole time, the journey down or up or wherever it was to the theatre, lying on the operating theatre bed, and all through the whole procedure of them doing the angiogram and putting in two stents, my heart rate was normal. It was just as if I was having a Sunday afternoon snooze! The peace of His presence was palpable. Unlike every other time when I was virtually unconscious, I was completely aware of what was going on, but still didn’t look at any of the monitors as some do, but closed my eyes and thought about the morning, and the incredible presence of My Lord and Saviour Jesus.

I don’t know what the theatre staff thought as tears flowed again as I thought how absolutely amazing God is, how much He loves us, how totally good He is, how privileged it is to be in His presence, how He is for us and in us, and with us, and all about us.

So; why? Why did that happen? Why did Jesus turn up at my hospital bed that morning? I don’t really know. But I am so very thankful. Perhaps it was to give me the peace of His presence during the angiogram. Knowledge does not bring peace. Trust brings peace. Knowing the answers to our why questions does not bring peace. Trusting in Him who is the Spirit of Peace, rather than worrying about the why, is the key.

I know one thing for sure. After you’ve had an encounter with the Living Lord like that, you are ruined for the regular.

Since then I’ve thought about it a lot. We know that God is with us and we are comforted by those words because they’re true. He is with us! But, do we realise just Who, it is with us? That it is the Lord, the Creator, the Master of the Universe, the Almighty, it is God…, with us! That thought is amazing. The Divine lives in the human. The Infinite dwells in the finite. The Unlimited resides in the limited.

I said in the last Brief Word, that how we see God is often the measure of His ministry to us.

How do you see God? What’s He like to you? I believe He wants to show all of us, something of His greatness, His goodness and His glory.

My friend, get ready! The Lord is about to give you a revelation of who He really is.

Special Note:

New Podcast Series!

During August, I’ll be presenting a new Good Words — Short Thought Podcast Series called “Received & Receiving”.

There are many tensions we have to live with. Two things that at first appear to oppose one another, and we wonder which one is right. This is one, between what we have Received, and what we are Receiving. Many of us find this difficult to live with.

Find out more by catching the Good Words — Short Thought Podcast Series called “Received & Receiving”.

Every Monday during August. On the Spotify platform.

Here’s the link https://open.spotify.com/show/0fdaCOakHA2IaatZNtUaTJ

Many blessings, Stephen